Well, everything is going fine here in case anyone was wondering. Just the same daily stuff. An army that isn't so much fun to deal with, the sweetest baby girl ever, and a house that seems to continually dirty itself. I got all of our wedding pictures developed and in an album. Over 400 of them! It was quite a job to get them put in some kind of order, but I am very happy with the results. I attended a Beth Moore simulcast last Saturday. I really enjoyed it. The only part that was lacking for me was the woman who aided in worship. Somehow watching someone jump around on stage distracted me. Maybe that's my own sin speaking. Probably. We enjoyed a 4 day weekend after the end of WLC for Jonathan. That was very nice. I tried my best to get a trip to the lake but it didn't work. "Next weekend" was my answer. But "next weekend" there are storms filling up the forecast so maybe the next. I need to get Emmers a bathingsuit anyways. I had one for her that was a newborn size but of course was too chicken to take her out in the sunlight for longer than ten minutes until she was 9 months old. New mom syndrome....yep I had it bad. We have ordered a baby jogger and after my failed attempt at jogging behind a normal stroller at the park yesterday morning, I am super excited. Another random tidbit: I woke up the other morning and suddenly knew how to french braid. It's rapidly become my favorite hairstyle--mainly because it takes about two minutes and stays all day. What's better than that? I find myself eager to finish my degree. "Degree in what?" You may ask. Well, that's still up for debate...I just want the degree. Any suggestions out there? I'm up for them. Most of all, I find myself eager to get home and afraid of change all at once. You just haven't seen complicated until i've told you all the secrets of my soul. :)

Glory to God

I have to write a post solely for the purpose of giving glory to God for several things. There's a story in Mark....Mark 9, I believe, that tells of a father and his son. This father spoke the words "I believe, help my unbelief!" to Christ. Like...out loud. Can you imagine saying that to God's son? I don't know about you, but that is one of the most refreshing stories in the Bible that I've studied so far. We don't need to hide our unbelief--especially before the Father. If we ask him and "...draw near with confidence to the throne of grace..." (Heb. 4:16) he is faithful to hear and respond in his perfect timing. I've learned something that I once thought differently about. When I heard the word "captive" in a religious context three weeks ago, I would have said it was referring to someone who is not saved--a captive to sin and an earthly mind. However, I now know that a captive is someone who IS saved. "A Christian is held captive by anything that hinders the abundant and effective Spirit-filled life God planned for her." I am quoting Beth Moore. This totally changed my view. I could make a list a page long of things I am held captive by. But guess what? God can change that. He IS changing that. Boy...it's not easy and goodness gracious it's not painless but let me tell you--it is SO worth it. You want to talk about someone with doubts? Someone with fears? Someone that once thought "well I got myself into this mess I'm probably the one that has to get myself out"? Or someone who didn't think things could ever change. It was impossible. As Beth would say...beloved, nothing and I mean absolutely nothing is impossible with the God who created 500 billion galaxies. The God who created you and created me to bring Him alone glory and honor and praise. Beth also explained in her book the difference between how God handles physical health and spiritual health. Sometimes, God has it in his will to allow sickness and strife. He is God and who are we to question that? But the scriptures are clear that God always wills the spiritual captive to be free. What a relief. He wants to free me. He wants me to not only taste liberty but fully indulge in an "abundant and effective Spirit-filled life". This isn't just about me. This is about every woman and every man. We can all be held captive to things. Sometimes they aren't so obvious and take a little digging to find the root of our reactions, feelings, and impulses. But there's one thing that's for sure: captivity doesn't have to be life-long. There is help--the best help that this world has to offer and it's all in Jesus' name. The prophet Isaiah has some encouraging words for the captive. Please take a moment to read this passage and truly hear the words.
"The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, Because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the afflicted. He has sent me to bind up the broken hearted, to proclaim liberty to captives, and freedom to prisoners; to proclaim the favorable year of the Lord, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn, to grant those who mourn in Zion, giving them a garland instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the mantle of praise instead of a spirit of fainting. So they will be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified."
My prayer for myself and for the sweet women reading this is that we would be "oaks of righteousness". I secretly or not so secretly have a tremendous passion for trees. Maybe that is why this strikes my heart so deeply. To be called an oak of righteousness makes me think of a tall, sturdy oak tree that sways in the breeze to accommodate the changing winds but does not break at its' trunk. Dead and useless branches may fall off but the live productive branches are fed with rainwater and sunshine to grow long and beautiful. The best part about that verse is that all of us oak trees would be "the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified". You see, His glory is what this life is all about. It truly is. I ask you to set aside your pride, your insecurities, your unbelief, and your fears, and just take a few moments to give our God glory. He is the only way that we can find deep and lasting satisfaction while our dwelling place remains to be this Earth. Embrace Him. Ask Him to swallow you up in His arms of love and enjoy His sweet presence. Lastly, thank Him for all that He was, is, and is to come for He alone is worthy.

Nothing

Well, it's 9:30 PM. Husband has been gone since 5 this morning. And we aren't even halfway finished with this crap. Still no sign of him. Somehow that leaves me with nothing else to say.

First Night Alone

Last night was our first night alone in our new home. It went fairly well. Yesterday, J left at 4:30 and I didn't hear from him until after 7 pm last night. Emily and I hung out yesterday and went to pick up my car on post thanks to Keri who gave us a lift. We took a nap together, ate some lunch, and cleaned the house. Keri came over yesterday afternoon to hang out since her husband is gone to the same place as J. We went to dinner together at Cracker Barrel which is something we've had planned since like...October or something. She's never been and I worked there so it was a point of conflict for us in our developing friendship many months ago. :) We came back and Keri put Em to bed then we watched a couple episodes of Army Wives. I'm hooked. I worked out on our new rower, did some sit-ups, had a nice shower, and sat down to do my Beth Moore homework. I'm still really enjoying that. Last night was alot alot ALOT of flipping through the Bible from book to book and looking up verses. I felt like I was in school again, but that was quite a welcome feeling. This morning, Emily is still asleep and it's 8:20. That's a record for her. Keri is meeting us here at 10 and we are leaving at 10:15 to head to Austin to pick up my momma. We are soooo excited. We have been counting down the days. I can't wait for her to see Emily because I know she misses her so much. She's been with Emily every day since the day she was born and many days before that. She was there for her birth, stayed up with her all night in the hospital so I could get some sleep, helped me bring her home to mom's own house, helped me learn to breastfeed her, and had a huge contribution in teaching me to be a mother. I learned from the best. I think it's safe to say that mom and Emily share a special bond. I can't wait for them to spend time together. I miss my mom. I probably won't hear from J much today either until tonight when he calls for a ride home. I guess a couple hours at home is better than none. I'm looking forward to our road trip in a bit. It's sunny, it's breezy, I have the new Francesca Batistelli CD in my car, and the windows are asking to be rolled down. Emily and I have ridden with the windows down since she was itty bitty. She loves the wind in her face. (She told me so.) It's a mother-daughter thing. :) Yesterday was TOM'S One Day Without Shoes so I feel that this should be our quote for the day in the Schoap household: Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair. ~ Kahlil Gibran

Trust Him

I'm feeling much better as of late. Spiritually, emotionally, but not physically. I must be coming down with something. I'm sure it will pass soon. Lots of water and saltines is my diet for now. Emily has a cold. We have to do eye and nose drops every six hours. She absolutely hates it. J leaves tomorrow and won't come back until Friday night. When he gets back, my mom will be here!! We are so excited for her to come. I wish she was coming one day earlier so I wouldn't have to stay home alone tomorrow night, but it's okay. We'll be fine because God is our provider, protector, and strength. He continues to show me his faithfulness again and again. I learned in my Bible study last night that trusting God doesn't automatically happen when you are saved. It's a process and it mostly happens from experience. Beth says "He was faithful yesterday. He'll be faithful today." Isn't it interesting how reading a book can change the way you think? For me, a book is more influential than a conversation. It seems to stick with me. Seeing the words on the page causes them to stick in my mind and I see the sentences in my head throughout the days. Transforming the way you think can be fun. It's change and I like change.

Super Saturday!

Well, our day began with me sleeping in. :) What a great start. I woke up to Emily kisses on my cheeks. Those are the best EVER. We got up and went grocery shopping first thing in hopes of less traffic and less people at Wal*Mart on a Saturday morning. We came home and cleaned out the fridge and cabinets to make room for the food we bought. Em had a short nap in the car on the way back. We spent the day together cleaning. We cleaned the fridge, the floors, the dishes, the cars, and the Molly. Molly is feeling so much better by the way. She takes a pill every morning to help with whatever was wrong. She is eating and drinking normally and back to her happy ball-loving self. We hope to start obedience school soon. Em took a long afternoon nap and was a happy girl until bedtime. BBQ chicken was for dinner but, of course, I couldn't leave the BBQ sauce as it was from the bottle. I added brown sugar and honey to make it sweeter and put some honey on top of the chicken half-baked to make a glaze. It was...yum. Emily went down without a fight, a carrot cake for Easter dinner is in the oven, and the Blind Side is about to start. Wonderful day. :)

What a Day!

Molly, our dog, has been sick since Monday. She received several routine vaccines Monday at the vet and that night, she started throwing up. She hasn't eaten since Sunday and is having not so nice bowel movements. J woke up at 5 to go to work this morning and cleaned up alot of throw up. I then woke up at eight to her not so nice bowel movements all over the floor. Nice..I know. Of course, Emily woke up at the same time with a dirty diaper that was everywhere. We had to be at the vet by 9:20 so I cleaned everyone up except myself and somehow we made it on time. They are keeping Molly overnight to give her an IV of fluids and meds to stop the vomiting. She is extremely dangerously dehydrated. I feel like a bad pet owner. I just hope they fix her! She may be really annoying, but I still love the dog. We've been through alot together. So Emily and I went to Target since we were without Molly and feeling a bit empty. I've concluded that I shouldn't go to target without my husband as a chaperone. I just like everything in there. And i've figured out that I don't feel as fat when I have clothes that fit...even if they are a size bigger. I found myself wandering around the maternity section wishing I was buying clothes there. How weird is that? Is it normal that I have a 9 month old and am dying for another baby? I have baby fever bad. Maybe it's just a phase. I'm sure it will pass. I want Emily to have a little one to play with and grow up with. That's something I never had but always wished I did. We aren't in any hurry though...nobody freak out. J is almost home for a four-day weekend. We are going to dinner tonight at a japanese steakhouse with friends. Times like these when I miss having babysitters who are family and enjoy keeping our baby. Of course I miss home for other reasons too. :)