It's about time I blogged again.
We are in the home-stretch of Jonathan's Army career. We have 32 more sleeps here and on the 33rd sleep, we will find ourselves resting our heads in wonderful Morristown. We will have two months of nothing but us-time and boy am I looking forward to that! It seems as though living halfway across the country would allow for alone time all the time. Not true. We are looking forward to spending some good time together and also with our families. I can't wait to hug my mother's neck and hand her the baby she's been missing so much.
I'm getting close to the end of my first class. I have enjoyed it so far. Some days, I have to do an attitude check and remind myself that school is a good thing and it can be enjoyable. I'm so used to thinking of school as something I HAVE to do and not pleasurable in the least bit. But, I must remember that it keeps me busy here and keeps part of my mind occupied. The other part of my mind has been incredibly busy lately as well. I've been pondering such things as how we receive salvation, a relationship with the Lord and what that means, and how I can better practice living like Christ.(That would take me another three or four long blogs to just briefly discuss though)Frankly, I do a horrible job at living like Christ most of the time. The good news is, that I'm redeemed by love divine and glory, glory! Christ IS mine.
As I continue through the years and experience more and more, my heart is becoming passionate for many different areas. I am witnessing an aunt, uncle, and their three beautiful children gracefully go through the process of fundraising and adopting from Africa. I'm absolutely touched and inspired. Jonathan and I have talked about adoption since we were just dating from America to Iraq. But, witnessing this makes it more real to us and causes us to really think and pray about what the Lord would have us do with this passion.
Another passion that I have developed is for mother's who have experienced babyloss. As most of you know, Jonathan and I lost a baby in June. It's name would have been Bailey. I know too many women who have experienced miscarriage or have birthed a stillborn baby. I know the grief that comes with losing a precious life. It is certainly not fun to endure, but the Lord is so gracious to me. In my hour of despair, he comforts me. There are deep places on this road of grieving--places I never knew could be so dark. Along with the passion for mothers who have experienced this pain, comes the passion from deep within my heart to stand for life. I'll go ahead and say it: I don't believe in "pro-choice". I've been pregnant two times and experienced some feelings that most probably don't in pregnancy given my situation the first time around. But the precious life that is conceived in the womb is a gift straight from the Father's heart to ours. And for those of you who think that miscarriage is nothing to grieve over or that the baby wasn't alive or whatever other ignorant argument you may fabricate, you are sadly mistaken. Babyloss moms, Jesus knows our babies and he gave them to us even if it was for just a short time. He wants us to lean on him for comfort, support, healing, and ultimately our whole lives. There are times when it seems impossible to recover. It feels like everyone has forgotten about the baby or are just pretending it didn't happen. Most of the time, it seems that the topic is risky to talk about for fear of offending the woman or bringing up repressed feelings of sadness. Maybe people just don't know how to talk about it. Either way, it's easy to feel alone and drowing in pain. But there's good news! He will never leave us. He is with us when our hearts feel like they are about to just ache right out of our chests. You, dear mother, are engraved on the palms of His hands--the King of the entire universe loves YOU beyond any comprehension. My prayer is that we could find rest in that promise and peace in the Giver of life. He is only capable of good. God does not love as a verb, He IS love. It is who He is and His principle character trait.
"The love of God is greater far. Than tongue or pen could ever tell."
-Frederick M. Lehman