So, I'm pretty sure the last time I wrote a blog I had around 100 days left on that baby countdown over there -->. How did it get down to only 48 days left so stinkin' fast? I think that means I'm officially bad at keeping a blog.
In the midst of trying times, it helps me to count my blessings. It helps to sit back and realize the little things in life that make me really happy. Know what I absolutely love?
I love sitting with a cup of coffee in the morning and seeing visible sun streams coming in the window. Whether it be from flying dust or smoke from residue burning in the oven while breakfast cooks, I love it. The moving particles of air make it seem like the sun rays are dancing for me.
I love riding in the car, windows down, a song about Jesus on the radio (maybe even contemporary!), and glancing back at Emily to notice a smile on her face and curls blowing in the wind. I love glancing at my husband, exchanging a smile, and grabbing his hand. Then I remember how close we are to meeting our first son. It's moments like these that feelings of thankfulness completely consume me.
I love driving through the mountains and noticing how high they tower above me--little old me. I feel so small at the foot of the great Smoky Mountains. And I love it. I gain perspective when I feel that small. I remember that maybe my problems aren't world-threatening and, yes, the same God that hand-crafted those mountains has hand-crafted me and my exact circumstances.
I love the internal feeling of satisfaction and fulfillment when I sit with my Bible and am truly focused on things unseen. Today's Jesus Calling excerpt reminds me that we live in a sense-driven world. We depend on our senses to lead us to truth. It's a temptation that I have to fight. My strength, my hope--my only hope--is unseen. And that should be my focus.
Have you ever been through one of those times in your life where you think thoughts like "Why do I have one more thing to deal with?" or "Haven't I been dealt enough 'bad' cards lately?" or "When is something going to finally be allowed to go my way?". Perhaps you just give up into an unashamed pity party "What's next? It can't be much worse than this.". Well, good news is...it probably can. I found myself thinking these thoughts about a week ago and quickly realized how incredibly selfish and unproductive they are. It's just so easy to think that way--so natural. But wrong.
I have a list of prayer requests a mile long. Anxiety, worry, fear, and loneliness, can easily overtake me. During this season of my life, I am being taught to trust. Not obsess, not worry, not freak out, not try to desperately hang on to any ounce of control I may think I have over a situation. Just trust. I'm to trust in no human. Not even myself. I'm to depend on no human for peace or hope. And I'm to surrender my control (like I really have any anyways). The Lord has done far too much in my life for me to hopelessly wallow in a pit of self-pity and anxiety. He has made provision for me even when I didn't care to utter his name. I am to "Consider it joy, my brethren, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides" (James 1).
And so, life goes on. We get to focus on happy things that are in our future: preparing a sweet boy's nursery, a birthday party, a sweet homecoming reunion, and time with family.
It really does help to count my blessings.
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