The following is an excerpt from a letter that I wrote to my grandma last week and that my dear Aunt Missy read to her at her bedside on my behalf. I am sharing it here mainly to have it on my blog which I read rather occasionally to remember my own reflections. Perhaps some of my readers can relate to my sentiments. Sometimes in the midst of grief, it is most comforting for people to know that they aren't alone in their thoughts.
Grandma,
[. . .]
It's okay to go. It's okay to go see Jesus. To go see grandpa. To
go see your parents and your siblings that have already gone on. You have
grandchildren there waiting on you. Even one of my own is there and I know that
sweet baby of mine that I've never gotten to hold is waiting for you to rock
her and sing her our favorite lullabies. Love her for me, okay?
Your absence
here on earth is going to be staggering. I just don't know how I'm going to get
through this.
But that Jesus that you introduced me to so many years ago--that same Jesus that grandpa preached about every week--he promises me in his Word that He will never leave us or forsake us. I’m praying that you and I both will remember that and cling to it. He loves us both so much. I love you so much.
My heart--my devotion--my love--it's yours.
I'm praying for you so much throughout the days.
If I could be there every second of every day holding your hand and taking care of you, please know that I would be--that I want to be doing that. I am having to trust the Lord that he has me here in this season of life right now for a reason--though I don't understand why. He has been teaching me that my prayers can be more effective than my physical presence there with you. Because HE is with you. You are his dear child.
I promise to continue to pray.
It's almost your turn, grandma.
You are finally going to get to hear those sweet words, "Well done, thy good and faithful servant".
You have been so faithful.
Your life has blessed so many--but I am sure that it has blessed me the most.
I am eternally grateful for you--what you stood for, what you believed, how you lived, and how you loved.
I love you deeply.
This isn't goodbye...it's just a "so long for now"... We WILL be together again, dear grandma.
In the land where we'll never grow old.
How I long for that day.
"But until then, my heart will go on singing. Until then, with joy I'll carry on. Until the day my eyes behold that city, until the day God calls me home."
I love you. So much.
Your Amanda
But that Jesus that you introduced me to so many years ago--that same Jesus that grandpa preached about every week--he promises me in his Word that He will never leave us or forsake us. I’m praying that you and I both will remember that and cling to it. He loves us both so much. I love you so much.
My heart--my devotion--my love--it's yours.
I'm praying for you so much throughout the days.
If I could be there every second of every day holding your hand and taking care of you, please know that I would be--that I want to be doing that. I am having to trust the Lord that he has me here in this season of life right now for a reason--though I don't understand why. He has been teaching me that my prayers can be more effective than my physical presence there with you. Because HE is with you. You are his dear child.
I promise to continue to pray.
It's almost your turn, grandma.
You are finally going to get to hear those sweet words, "Well done, thy good and faithful servant".
You have been so faithful.
Your life has blessed so many--but I am sure that it has blessed me the most.
I am eternally grateful for you--what you stood for, what you believed, how you lived, and how you loved.
I love you deeply.
This isn't goodbye...it's just a "so long for now"... We WILL be together again, dear grandma.
In the land where we'll never grow old.
How I long for that day.
"But until then, my heart will go on singing. Until then, with joy I'll carry on. Until the day my eyes behold that city, until the day God calls me home."
I love you. So much.
Your Amanda
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