Introducing Baby Anderson

On Sunday, July 3, it was my turn to make breakfast for our Sunday School class. Saturday night, I prepared the casserole and had it in the refrigerator ready to be baked early the next morning. We woke up, had showers, and headed off to church. We dropped Emily off at the nursery and then went to our class. After that, we headed down to the sanctuary for the service. As soon as the service started, I noticed some mild contractions. I contracted throughout the pregnancy pretty regularly, so I didn't think much of it. And, these were not very painful at all compared to other ones that I had felt before. I started noting when I felt them--about every 5 minutes. We went to eat with our Sunday School class after church and they became a bit stronger. Nothing I couldn't tolerate though. When we got home, I changed into comfortable clothes, drank a lot of water, and laid down to try to nap. The contractions eased up and became much more irregular. So...of course I thought it was false labor.

At about 30 weeks, I had an ultra sound that showed the baby was breech. About 4 weeks later, I drove down to Calhoun, GA to meet Jonathan upon his homecoming from his National Guard annual training. That night, I had some complications that landed us in the ER. I was directly sent to L & D and hooked up to monitors. Turns out, I was in labor, but thankfully it was progressing slowly enough that I was given a shot to stop it. It worked. My OB back at home told me that the labor was started because the baby had turned from breech to head down position and that can stimulate contractions. She even did an ultra sound to confirm and told me that it was indeed true. I was extremely excited and hopeful.

Now, fast forward a couple weeks and back to the start of this blog (how unorganized am i??). So, that Sunday, I was sure that it was false labor. However, there was a nagging thought in my mind that the baby could still be breech and if I was in labor, by chance, it could be very dangerous for both of us if my water broke and baby was breech. I called my OB's office--no answer on a Sunday and turns out they don't have an answering service! How convenient! Next, I called the L & D at Skyridge Medical Center (where I was supposed to deliver). The nurse I talked to said "Honey, I can't give you any advice at all. You'll have to get a hold of your dr." Thanks a ton. I started exploring other options...something in my heart just wouldn't let the issue rest at "false labor". I got a hold of a lady from our church who works in L & D here in Athens. Although I didn't know her at all, I called her up and explained all of the personal details involved. And she was MEGA-helpful. She told me to go into Athens hospital just to get checked out so that I could have some peace of mind. She said it's better to be safe than sorry and that it is totally acceptable for me to go to a hospital without them having my records just to be sure. So, J and I and Emily bee-bopped out the door on a beautiful Sunday afternoon "just to go get checked out". Before we left, I grabbed my camera just in case.

We got to the hospital to discover that my church friend had called ahead and told them I was coming. I walked in the doors and the nurses said "Are you Amanda?". How convenient! They wouldn't let Em back in the triage room so we called our friends Wesley and Sarah for babysitting help. They came promptly to get Emily (life savers!) and took her home to play. J and I waited in the triage room. I was sure I would be sent home soon, because those contractions seemed to disappear at first and I was dilated at just one cm--totally normal for 3rd trimester. Buuut I was wrong. The contractions came back and the nurse called in the doc on call. Turns out, the doc on call was the doc that I had seen at the very beginning of the pregnancy before I decided to switch practices. Talk about awkward! But, luckily, she was my favorite and I was SO relieved to see her face walk in the door. It was about 40 minutes from the time the nurse checked me to the time the doc got there and checked me again. I had gone from "a fingertip" to 4 cm in that short period of time. They rushed for the ultra sound machine to check baby's position and lo and behold, he was still breech. Next, all the surgeons and anesthesiologists were called in as well as a pediatrician. I was given an IV (horrendous experience and added nothing to the peaceful feeling I was trying to conjure up), papers were thrown at me right and left to sign, three people asking questions about my entire life history, and a man in scrubs came in to tell me about the risks of c-sections and spinals. Wonderful. I kept asking "Are you sure this is real labor?". The doc said so. I had time to call my mom and say, "Mom, I'm in the hospital. I'm in labor and he's still breech. I'm about to go back for a c-section. Can you come down please?" Ha. She hopped in the car and headed right down.

Meanwhile, Emily was passed over to Aunt Missy (another lifesaver) for an impromptu play date. I'm so thankful she was oblivious to our situation.

So, off we went into the operating room. By the way, I had prayed and prayed and prayed (etc) that God would somehow turn the baby in my womb. I wanted to avoid a c-section more than anything. Oh how I was terrified of a c-section. More than anything, I didnt want my future child-having options to be so limited! But, despite my earnest prayers, the Lord had different plans. I'm still having to trust him in that entire situation when I think back on it.

Anyways, Anderson arrived at 7:03 on July 3rd. He weighed 5 lbs and 5 oz and was 17 inches long. For being born at 35 weeks, I was happy about his weight. I got to see him briefly while I was on the operating table before he was whisked away to the nursery. When I got out of surgery, they told me that he was having a lot of trouble breathing and that they would need to transport him to a NICU asap. We requested that he be sent to Erlanger in Chattanooga because my sister-in-law was working in the NICU that very night. It was another hour or so later and the helicopter transport team was there and had him in an incubator, with an IV, and on a nasal cannula. They tried to wheel his huge stretcher into my room so that I could see him, but it was too large and I just got a glimpse of his little feet. Jonathan and Wesley left from the hospital where I was and drove to Erlanger. They met the helicopter there. By this time, my mom had arrived to see the baby and take care of Emily (who was all cozy and warm in her own bed through all of this). And Connie stayed with me in the hospital that first night.

My sister-in-law was his nurse in the NICU that night and was able to give him his first little sponge bath (of which she sent me video). Less than 24 hours after my c-section the doctors decided to release me so that I could go and meet my son. I was definitely feeling uneasy about leaving the hospital so soon, but knew nothing could keep me away from my baby. Jonathan drove me home, packed my bags, and then we headed to Chattanooga. Talk about a painful car ride! But we made it and I got to hold my Anderson for the first time that night--totally worth it.

Anderson was in the NICU for almost two weeks and battled respiratory distress syndrome and bradycardia. He took a bit longer than expected which probably signals that he was a bit earlier than my dates allowed. (We were never sure of the dates in the first place). It is estimated that he was about 35 weeks when born--possibly a late 34. His weight dropped to four and a half lbs in the NICU and he was back up to an even 5 when we were discharged. We spent the last night at the hospital in a lovely "care by parent" room. Not. It was terrible. Two chairs that kind of folded out into a somewhat flat sleeping surface, a terribly dirty pink bathroom, and the entire room was about the size of a nice hotel bathroom. Oh well. We were just glad to be with Andy. The next day, we took him home. What a feeling!

Now, he is above 7 lbs and is doing wonderfully. He eats all the time and is growing so fast. His preemie clothes and diapers are too small so we've officially graduated to newborn size! He is a wonderful baby and such a blessing to us. We have two beautiful children!

Emily has adjusted well. She loves to give her "baby Anderson" kisses. She is learning to be gentle and use a whisper when he is sleeping near her. She is a wonderful big sister.

I love that we are a family of four. It feels so...right. I love having my own little family unit and children to raise with my husband. It is a privilege to be entrusted with such precious little lives.

This is one of my favorite verses:

Children are a heritage from the Lord,
offspring a reward from him.

Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
are the children of one's youth.

Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them.

Psalm 127: 3-5

Thankful

Know what I found super comforting today? Standing in the church pew, as the pastor read the verses for his message, I noticed the words in red. I was suddenly overcome with peace by the fact that no matter the outcome of all of the issues hanging in the balance in my life, those words will always be the same. The words in His word are constant. They will still be there and still hold the same significance (if not more) with every passing crisis, defeat, or victory. Today I am very thankful for the constant and unchanging nature of God and the word that He gave us to read. Now... if I can just remember that when the storms of fearful thoughts come.

Count Your Blessings

So, I'm pretty sure the last time I wrote a blog I had around 100 days left on that baby countdown over there -->. How did it get down to only 48 days left so stinkin' fast? I think that means I'm officially bad at keeping a blog.

In the midst of trying times, it helps me to count my blessings. It helps to sit back and realize the little things in life that make me really happy. Know what I absolutely love?

I love sitting with a cup of coffee in the morning and seeing visible sun streams coming in the window. Whether it be from flying dust or smoke from residue burning in the oven while breakfast cooks, I love it. The moving particles of air make it seem like the sun rays are dancing for me.

I love riding in the car, windows down, a song about Jesus on the radio (maybe even contemporary!), and glancing back at Emily to notice a smile on her face and curls blowing in the wind. I love glancing at my husband, exchanging a smile, and grabbing his hand. Then I remember how close we are to meeting our first son. It's moments like these that feelings of thankfulness completely consume me.

I love driving through the mountains and noticing how high they tower above me--little old me. I feel so small at the foot of the great Smoky Mountains. And I love it. I gain perspective when I feel that small. I remember that maybe my problems aren't world-threatening and, yes, the same God that hand-crafted those mountains has hand-crafted me and my exact circumstances.

I love the internal feeling of satisfaction and fulfillment when I sit with my Bible and am truly focused on things unseen. Today's Jesus Calling excerpt reminds me that we live in a sense-driven world. We depend on our senses to lead us to truth. It's a temptation that I have to fight. My strength, my hope--my only hope--is unseen. And that should be my focus.



Have you ever been through one of those times in your life where you think thoughts like "Why do I have one more thing to deal with?" or "Haven't I been dealt enough 'bad' cards lately?" or "When is something going to finally be allowed to go my way?". Perhaps you just give up into an unashamed pity party "What's next? It can't be much worse than this.". Well, good news is...it probably can. I found myself thinking these thoughts about a week ago and quickly realized how incredibly selfish and unproductive they are. It's just so easy to think that way--so natural. But wrong.

I have a list of prayer requests a mile long. Anxiety, worry, fear, and loneliness, can easily overtake me. During this season of my life, I am being taught to trust. Not obsess, not worry, not freak out, not try to desperately hang on to any ounce of control I may think I have over a situation. Just trust. I'm to trust in no human. Not even myself. I'm to depend on no human for peace or hope. And I'm to surrender my control (like I really have any anyways). The Lord has done far too much in my life for me to hopelessly wallow in a pit of self-pity and anxiety. He has made provision for me even when I didn't care to utter his name. I am to "Consider it joy, my brethren, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides" (James 1).

And so, life goes on. We get to focus on happy things that are in our future: preparing a sweet boy's nursery, a birthday party, a sweet homecoming reunion, and time with family.

It really does help to count my blessings.

Bradford Pears, Babies, and Corn Flake Chicken

The Bradford Pear trees bloomed overnight--not good for the sinuses.

A torrential rainfall finally just broke through the gray sky. The sound of it is beautiful.

I'm not sure if this baby widget on the right here is such a good idea. Every time I check my blog, i'm reminded that a few more days have passed and all of the stuff that I haven't done that I need to do. No stress here though--we just go with the flow. Speaking of the new baby, this week, my favorite name is Hadley. Don't get your hopes up though, i'm 99% sure that will change. Still no movement of the baby besides his occasional roll over and the weird shapes my stomach takes when he does that. Emily has been blowing lots of raspberries on my stomach lately--maybe that's why he doesn't move much. :)

J is having late nights at work this week, so Em and I are getting some good quality time together. She shared her RSV with me so we have spent the last two days sharing a box of pink tissue and drinking tons of water--meaning we are also changing lots of diapers and making many many trips to the big girl potty for mommy.

We just got new couches and a new bedroom suite. It is so nice to have comfortable furniture that is strong and reliable, but the remodeling is far from over. We currently have five couches on our porch. Anyone for a sleepover?

It's time to cook dinner. Bacon mixed with some honey and a can of baked beans, corn flake and bisquick battered baked chicken, corn off the cob, and green beans (or bean beans for Emily).

Updates

I suppose it's time for a baby update! Baby # 1 isn't much of a baby anymore. She's a toddler rapidly approaching two years old. How crazy is that? I was prepared for newborn and baby stage, but toddler stage? Not so much. Emily is smack dab in the middle of the part of life where she is learning what she can and cannot get away with. Boundaries. Whew is that exhausting--even just to type it.

She's also in the phase where her sweet little voice strongly resembles what you hear on a broken or scratched record. I love that she is talking. She really is smart and it often amazes me what she remembers and repeats. She repeats EVERYTHING. She has the sweetest little voice and way of saying words, but after thirty straight minutes of "meow, meow, meow" (what she says when she wants to watch her favorite Baby Einstein video with a lion on it which she mistakes for a cat even if she's already watched it three times that day), I can get a little on edge.

She still sleeps about twelve hours at night and two during the day. Can't complain one bit there! I really do love her sleeping schedule. It hasn't been easy through the past two years to establish, but it was well worth it.



My final tidbit about the Emmers is that the situation with her glasses is not going well. The first two days were wonderful--miraculous. Now, she barely leaves them on for five seconds before yanking them off. She wants nothing to do with them. I'm not sure what else to try. I know it's important--vital--for her to wear these glasses for her development, but what do I do to get her to wear them? At this point, my goal is to not make it a point of stress or contention for either one of us. I just dont see what stressing out is going to do for either one of us. I want her glasses to be a positive thing, not something she is spanked over. But, it's also equally important that she learn to wear them. Stuck in a rut here.




Baby in-utero is doing fine, I suppose. (Pardon my blank expression in the above picture--I really am thrilled about this precious baby boy.) He still doesn't have a name. Poor guy. I have just started thinking about what I want his nursery to look like. So far I'm thinking a fun Noah's Ark theme. I haven't even begun to think of a registry. I still haven't felt movement. I have time, I suppose. I'm just itching to feel the little guy. That was my favorite part of carrying Emily. My last dr. appt. was fine. The next one is in a week or so and I trust everything will be fine again.

Jonathan is almost halfway finished with the police academy, which puts us one step closer to having a normal job and truly settling in here. There is still some level of uncertainty in my mind about living arrangements and hesitation to get too attached to our church and Sunday school until we see where he will find employment after the academy. We really do love where we live--so much. But, we are also trying to keep our hearts and minds open to other options because we truly have no idea where the Lord will lead J to work after he is certified.

I am feeling very ambitious lately. I'm dying to get ahold of a sewing machine to start making pillow case dresses for my dear friend Sheryl and her ministry in the Philippines. And a few summer dresses for Emily as well. I also want to work on drapes for baby boy's room as well as our soon-to-be remodeled bedroom. Maybe even some for the living room! Also, I want to make a scrap book for Emily. I have all of her memorable items and keepsakes from birth until now in a cute little pink box. I'd love to have a book made that she can keep for the rest of ever. And just a side note: It's absolutely amazing what a little rearranging of the furniture can do for a drab-feeling-stagnant kind of day. Well, those are my thoughts for the day. Thanks for reading!

Emily pronounces the word "fingers" as "grin-gahs!" and well...I just burnt my grin-gah's on piping hot ramen noodle water.

In other news, I was SURE I felt junior moving around big time tonight only to discover it was a passing hunger pang. Darn.

A Precious Life

Nothing is a waste. A life is never a mistake.

In May of 2008, I made the decision to stop attending Bryan College. Can't say I haven't struggled with some regret of this decision. But, the story goes on. And gets better. My time at Bryan forced me to examine my own beliefs, their authenticity, and who I really was or was pretending to be. I left it all--denied it all. No longer would I consider myself a Christian, and no longer would I place my trust or faith in a God that all of these Bryan people pretended to believe in. Needless to say, my attitude was bitter.

In the fall of 2008, I was waiting tables at Texas Roadhouse and going to school at Pellissippi State. I was living alone in Oak Ridge in a cluster of buildings that could be classified as "the projects". Well, not entirely alone. I had my dog, Molly, who was my company, friend, and a fur coat to cry on. Was this what I had chosen for myself? Leaving the comfy new dorm at Bryan surrounded by a sweet roommate that loved me dearly for the projects? I left all that for being scared to come home at midnight after closing the restaurant for fear of who would be lurking about my building?

In November, I realized I felt funny. I thought it was just a stomach flu I couldn't shake and the 5 pounds I had lost were due to my limited supply of food. Wrong. In an impulse decision, I made the trip to Walmart, purchased a pregnancy test, and took it. It only took about 5 seconds to show a "positive" result and it only took my hands another 5 seconds to find my stomach and begin loving the child within. Scared is an understatement here--as it is with most single mothers and "unplanned" pregnancies. I called my mom. Thank goodness for a mom who had walked in similar shoes, understood my fears, and loved me despite my situation.

I took 5 more tests. They were all positive. I began seeing a doctor in Oak Ridge. My best friend, Connie went with me to the first appointment. There in that dark tiny room, the ultra sound technician showed us the baby's heart beating. A white and black fluttering on the screen. And then...she turned the volume on and we heard it. I would never be the same again. A sense of reality soon flooded the doubts and feelings of unreality. Along with that comes worry, excitement, dread, and just plain uneasiness.

I ended up losing twenty pounds in the first trimester of the pregnancy and was advised by the doctors to move home. Gladly! I switched doctors--loved the new one--and waited out the rest of the pregnancy. I didn't tell the family until I was 20 weeks along and could hide it no more. Talk about scary. But guess what? They still loved me. And little did I know they would absolutely adore my child.

On June 18, 2009, Emily was born around 10:30. The doctors had put me on bed rest for the last month because I supposedly had IUGR (Intra-Uterine Growth Restriction) and the baby was super small. They induced me a week early because they thought that she could grow better on the outside. Wrong. She was 7 lbs 12 oz. Completely healthy, completely normal, and completely beautiful. An absolute miracle. That was the day it all changed for me.

Throughout the pregnancy, I had been chatting and habitually Facebooking this guy. He talked to me about my faith (or lack of), my doubts, and my past. He was an instrumental part of God's plan to bring me back around. His name is Jonathan. And he proposed 7 months later.

Emily's life changed my life. Emily's heart has changed mine. Her sweet life continues to touch people. Just a smile on her face can brighten an entire room. I'm so thankful for her life. And I am so thankful for my God, who gave me the courage to make the choice of life, even if I wasn't aware of his presence in the situation.



She continues to touch my heart, teach me so many new things, and love me unconditionally. She has the unbridled power to bring a smile to the most downtrodden face, whether it be my familiar face or that of a complete stranger. Her life is precious. The miracle of life never ceases to amaze me. And the faith that I have in the Creator of life continues to grow. The praise be Thine.